my journey

I woke up suddenly in fright.  As my eyes adjusted to the darkness with a small shadow of light filtering in from the window's curtains, I felt uncomfortable and displaced.  Where was I?  Everything seemed foreign to me; nothing felt like the comforts of home.  I could not shake the nervous dreams that attacked my brain.  I breathed shallowly, sitting up, gazing upon the blank walls of my new home.  I longed for the simple comforts of my old bed, its cozy blankets, and calming whir of the ceiling fan.  The new flat took on a completely sterile feel as I thought back to my old apartment, filled with memories in the photographs, books, stuffed animals, and collectibles that had previously surrounded me.  Here, I could find hardly anything to match this comfort.  I struggled to breathe deeply, working to re-focus my thoughts on trying to be comfortable and feeling safe, while attempting to fall back asleep...

I am working hard to make this new flat feel like home.  It wasn't until the middle of the night, that something reminded me intensely of home.  I miss it.  I miss all of the little things that I took for granted, that surrounded me daily, making me feel comfortable in the home I spent four years to establish.  I thought it would be easy, packing up all of my belongings, going on hiatus from all of my stuff.  And now, I long for nothing more than a photograph of reassuring smiles, my comfy blanket, and my DVR remote.  I am a creature of habit, and taking a step back to examine my last month and a half is shocking.  Completely out of character, I have challenged everything I've ever known in taking this adventure.  I work to rely on faith, and trusting in the comforts that I am able to find here.  Whether it be through Bret, Skype conversations and video chats with my family and friends, and the randomly supportive e-mails of students and children past, I strengthen my will, and congratulate myself on my hugely successful accomplishment as often as I can, as I journey on in peace.